Rumors

Baby Dolls (original source)

Porcelain dolls, baby dolls, plastic things with vacant eyes that stare at nothing—little girls always get at least one. It’s not because they all want to play mommy. Most of them think those dolls are creepy, too.

They’re training tools for when the girls grow up and have children of their own. For when they look down into the bassinet and see their baby’s smile has grown forced, the laughter turned into a rattle, their eyes too intelligent and cold. They recognize what it is and kill it quick.

It doesn’t happen often, but it happens. And when they have a daughter that makes it to childhood, they make sure she has a baby doll of her own.

Have you ever heard of the Graver? He looks like an old miner or something in a gas mask. They say if you ask him, he’ll kill anybody for you, but you still have to dispose of the body. Of course, if you don’t tell him what to do, you’ll be his next victim.

Whatever happened to the ghost in Terra Forest? Nobody sees her anymore.

If you hold your breath, close your eyes, and wander into the woods, you’ll find yourself in Wonderland.

You numbskull! If you do that, you’ll end up in the lands of the dead! And let me tell you, I’m not sure what it is, but it sure isn’t Heaven if you catch my drift.

Since Jonah Flood got arrested, the area’s been really dry. Of course, the drug trade has picked back up, but now you have to pay. Sure, it’s cheaper than anywhere else, but free was even better.

There’s a drug you can only find in Terra Lake, called Snicker Snacks. They’re even more intense than LSD, and I hear they’re all natural. They’re usually packaged as granola bars.

Have you seen the young girl who moved into the old Sherman place? I think I’ve only seen her out at night, tending her rosebushes. Though my friend swears he saw her at Eddie’s once or twice.

You know that teacher at the dance studio? The Slavic one? I heard she used to be a man.

You remember hearing about the thing that happened on prom night? You know, all those guys in the facepaint? Well, I heard Elena MacKenzie — yeah, her — smuggled a sword into school and started wasting them, no joke. I heard she fought like a demon, too.

That’s nothing. I heard that a local reporter — you know, the gay guy — jumped up on stage and started blasting away with a shotgun. Hail to the king, baby.

Well, unless you want something like that to happen again, you ought to vote for William Puckett. He’s a real force for change in this town!

Is this the same William Puckett I saw in the grocery store the other day shouting about how they didn’t have enough collard greens to “feed [his] African roots”? Yeah, keep dreaming.

If he ever comes through again, I suggest you go to one of Reverend Caulfield’s tent revivals. I’ve only seen him around here once, but I’ll tell you, it changed my life.

Can’t get a date? No problem. I know where you can get this perfume stuff, Nymph’s Blood. Trust me. A little dab of this stuff and she’ll do anything for you. Make sure you wear noseplugs, though, or else you’ll lose control, too.

The Feds are supposedly in town due to all the disappearances and murders, but frankly, I think it’s because of all the UFO sightings. Hell, they probably caused all those weird occurrences.

Cassius Sherman still haunts his old house, as do the ghosts of all his victims. No joke! I’ve seen them in the windows some nights.

I feel you, man. That’s why the new owner moved in; she needs a place replete with death energies.

What era is this? Jesus! She’s just a Goth and wants to feel the vibes. End of story.

If I were you, I’d quit Perkona and sell all my stock. Word is that they’re going to crash and burn soon. Something about scientific ethics or something. Point is, the government’s going to shut them down.

Perkona might be out, but I hear the Phoenix Chemical building might get new life. Word is that some European pharmaceutical — Jones-Klein-Beauchamp, I think — is interested in purchasing the factory. Smart money’s on most folks keeping their jobs.

Do you remember that guy who came to the Baptist church and got everybody riled up before prom? What happened to him?

He was obviously a Man in Black. The same thing happened to the Founding Fathers, and now look at the state of this country.

Jasper Felix was recently seen trying to interview Phoenix Chemical employees, asking questions about the rumored imminent judicial action and its connection to certain recent investments made by the Rothschilds.

Rumors

False in Some Sense PsychicMayhem